KAIKAI'S KICKER: Museveni's path to the Indian Ocean

“He didn’t mean a fridge, it was actually not about a freezer, it was metaphorical,” PS Korir Sing’oei said, as he momentarily turned into a very effective spokesman of the Ugandan president.

As Kenyans, we would have let that pass if this was not just about freezers, fridges, and maybe some of our dispensable citizens. I say dispensable because defending a fridge over a citizen stands out clearly on which between the two is dispensable.

Back to President Museveni’s remarks. Other than fridges, the Ugandan president said something else that is worth noting. Museveni said, and I quote, “The Indian Ocean is mine.” Now, geographically this of course does not make sense as Uganda is a landlocked nation that only has access to the Indian Ocean through Kenya and maybe northern Tanzania.

But the Ugandan president is saying, and I quote again, “That ocean belongs to me.” He continues, “I am entitled to that ocean.” And then he deadpanned with a warning, “In the future we may have wars.”

Predictably, the Kenyan Ministry of Foreign Affairs has responded in sisterly fashion. The ministry yet again turning into the interpreters of President Museveni’s mind and thoughts, and declared the Ugandan president was just being metaphorical.

Well, Museveni’s metaphors included his lamentation of Uganda’s wish to build a navy. “How can we build a navy?” he asked. “We don’t have access to the sea.” He continued, “Uganda is landlocked inside here, but where is my ocean? My ocean is the Indian Ocean. It really belongs to me.” I am still waiting for a metaphor here.

Away from metaphors, Idi Amin Dada is one of Museveni’s predecessors as president of Uganda. Back in 1976, President Idi Amin made open territorial claims over parts of Kenya.

Citing colonial boundaries, Idi Amin declared that the Kenya-Uganda border lies only 30 kilometers west of Nairobi. He clarified that the eastern Uganda border should lie in Naivasha town. The rest of the land west of Naivasha, he said, belonged to Uganda.

In the good old days, duties of the Foreign Affairs ministry did not include speaking for foreign heads of state. And so the government of Kenya at the time, led by President Jomo Kenyatta, was livid.

The straight-speaking President Kenyatta warned that he will not tolerate anyone playing with the sovereignty of Kenya. He said, and I quote, “I wish to warn those who may have desires on Kenya that even if they have guns and warships, we shall deal with them ruthlessly.”

Kenyatta’s language was often X-rated, but to pick a bearable part of his remarks, he warned Idi Amin’s Uganda firmly, and I quote, “Those who say their country extends from present borders, I advise them to go to hell and dream there. We shall have no one lay claim over our territory. We shall not give away an inch, not even a quarter of an inch.” End of quote.

The warning worked, and Idi Amin changed his mind. But three years later, Idi Amin chose another territory to claim, a small enclave by the Kagera River in northern Tanzania. That turned out to be his final mistake.

Tanzanian President Julius Nyerere did not invoke metaphors. He dispatched his military, led by Brigadier David Msuguri, with instructions to clear Idi Amin from Kagera. The Tanzanian army took it a step further by chasing Idi Amin out of Kampala in October 1979.

And that, to date, remains one of the most compelling stories on the consequences of laying claim to another country’s territory.

So, as we go to bed with the assurance that Museveni is just being metaphorical, two things prevail. One is a whole land mass called Kenya that lies between Uganda and the Indian Ocean.

And secondly, the waters immediately after Kenya’s shoreline are within Kenya’s territorial waters. And after that, there will be international waters. And indeed, President Museveni’s Indian Ocean may just be a metaphor—as a fact.

That is my kicker.